Last night, around 11pm, my phone beeps. It was a text message from a local number that I didn’t recognize. It said:

Sex is like eating at kfc once your done nibbling on breast and thighs you always have a nice greasy box to put your bone in! Later Tater

I look at the number with Fone Finder and see that it’s a Verizon cell from Lebanon, Oregon. A wrong number, obviously. So I reply back:

OMG, that’s the best analogy EVAR!

They replied with:

Ya u like that prity impresive aint it.

And I replied with this:

I was hoping for a WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU??? or something, but no luck with that. I never got another text message from them again.