It’s not that I’m too lazy to vote. It’s that I’m too lazy to follow the candidates and know what their issues are. I didn’t watch a single debate this year. Or in 2004, or in 2000, or ever. I don’t even know what Obama or McCain sound like. I couldn’t tell you a fact about either of them. Even though I read blogs nonstop all day, I’ve quickly skipped over all the entries relating to the election this year. I haven’t even watched a single parody of Sarah Palin or any of the others. My vote would be meaningless since I know absolutely nothing about any of them.

I probably would have voted Obama today, just to shake things up a bit because he’s black. And because Obama doesn’t look like a grouchy old man. I’m tired of grouchy old men in the white house. In 1992, I would have voted Clinton because he was younger and had cool hair. I wouldn’t have voted for either of the Bushes because they look old and crotchety. See why I shouldn’t vote? My votes are based soley on looks and age, not issues. I think democracy is great and America is awesome, but I’m just glad everyone else is so into voting so I don’t have to be. Thanks, people who voted today!

9:27PM UPDATE: Obama won. See? My vote didn’t matter!

9:53 UPDATE: Ugh, does every single blog I subscribe to have to inform us that Obama is president?

Also, Spessa is certain that her Obama sticker campaigns (here and here) were solely responsible for the election results. Way to go, Spessa!