This is kind of weird – this morning in my email I had 20 notifications of all these different sites linking to an old entry of mine from 2006 where my car stereo was stolen. It’s a story about car stereo thefts going down and they’re all using the picture of my broken car window and linking to my site for credit. Nice of them to give me credit for it. (To read the story, look at the comments on the original entry.) Wonder if actual newspapers will end up using my picture.

Today I plugged my phone into my laptop to sync some music and decided to delete/move some of the pictures while it was hooked up. Here’s a few of my favorite grainy pictures. This first one is a smoke shop in Corvallis that I was walking by earlier this month.

Here’s my downstairs bathroom light fixture containing red green and blue lights. Only the blue light is more like a black light, so that throws the whole idea of turning RBG into white light out the window. But it still makes cool effects when you’re peeing.

The kids and I were driving in Corvallis and noticed identical shoes coming out of both windows. Look closely and you’ll see there’s feet out the other back window too, but his shoes don’t match. I don’t think the driver had his feet up, but it’s hard to see him.

Here’s a personalized plate we found at Albertsons. I’m wondering if the wife got it for him during a bitter divorce.

This one I took this one a couple days ago in Salem. I asked the guy getting in if I could snap a picture and he said sure and got out of the way for me. He was, as you’d expect, pretty weird.

I didn’t do much this weekend. The kids weren’t around, so I went to Salem to do some shopping and returning. Yesterday I vacuumed the house. Man, that was exciting. I had to dump the vacuum bin 5 times! On Saturday I got up at 5am to do a phone mob, which I turned into a PLA Radio yesterday. I only lasted 90 minutes into it, then went back to bed for a couple more hours. I watched Step Brothers which I didn’t expect much from but ended up LOLing at a lot. I also watched an old 70’s movie called Paper Moon which was really good. Oh yeah, Payton was here for a few hours on Saturday morning and we watched Stephen King’s Christine together. I hadn’t seen it in at least 10 years and it was fun to watch again. Payton liked it too. Geez, I watch too many movies.

A guy from an online “radio” station called Party 934 contacted me a few weeks ago about doing a weekly show on their station. He said I can do pretty much anything I want so I said sure and I’m doing an hour per week. They’re licensed to play actual music and insist that I play at least 4 songs per hour. He says it’s a terrestrial station too and goes out on 102.5 FM in the Hudson Valley in New York. I’m feeling a little skeptical on that part, though, since I can’t find any records on that and last week when I did the show I couldn’t get anyone to call in. It is the middle of the night there, though. From 2am to 3am.

I’m calling it The Phone Show since I’m sure whatever I do with the show will somehow involve phones. I set up a couple computers so that I can take calls on the air with it too, which seems to be working fairly well. (Thanks, Darin Abernathy, for helping me test!) And they gave me a really neat program made for broadcasting online stations. I guess tonight will be the first official show, since I’ve actually announced it on here and on phonelosers.org now. I haven’t prepared a bit for it and I have no idea what I’m going to do on it. It can be listened to on party934.com Monday nights from 11pm PST to midnight. Which is 2am to 3am Tuesday mornings EST. What a horrible time to do a show! The official page for it is www.phonelosers.org/phoneshow but there’s nothing on there yet.

Saturday I was setting up 2 computers with some broadcasting software and Skype so I could take calls. (I’m doing a new show, more on that later.) So I was testing it all out and it seemed to be working perfectly and I could hear it on the internet stream several seconds later. To make sure I had the levels all set right, I decided to make some test calls. Whenever I make test calls for anything, I always default to calling Domino’s Pizza in East Alton, IL. It’s the one John and I pranked a lot as kids and their number is easy to remember. So I called them up and asked a bunch of nonsense questions, as usual, and we hung up.

Then I had more to test so I needed to call another number. I dialed a familiar exchange and then a random 4 digits afterwards and immediately realized that those 4 digits weren’t exactly random. They belonged to a childhood nemesis of mine named Darin Abernathy. This is a guy I haven’t thought of for about 20 years now, but somehow I’m suddenly calling him up and talking to his mom. I have no idea how his number suddenly popped into my head.

So I start in with lots of nonsense to Darin’s mom, asking her meaningless questions like, “So, how’s your dog?” “Uh, we don’t have a dog.” And I needed to test the music function of this software I’m using so I said to her, “Hey, listen to this really awesome song!” and I start playing Roses by Outkast. You know, the piano part. She tells me it’s very nice and I ask her if she was able to hear it okay. It wasn’t too loud or distorted was it? She says no, it sounded fine to her. Then she resumes asking me who I am. I’m Dave.

I don’t know why I didn’t like Darin Abernathy as a kid. He was about 2 years older than me. I know me and John Sever both had something against him. I’m not sure if I brought John into it or he brought me into it or if John was even that much a part of it. I’m not sure if Darin actually did something to warrant my dislike for him or if it was just completely random. I do remember that he seemed to really hate me, but it’s probably because of whatever irritating things I was doing to him. It’s just been so long that I don’t remember. Maybe John will know.

I do remember a few specific things that I did to Darin and his friend though. They would play tennis behind our garage and I would hang out in the garage making insane noises inside. Crashing into things, yelling, starting up the lawnmower, setting off fireworks, etc. Just whatever I could do to irritate them. And it worked too. They would bang on the garage wall at me and yell back. I wasn’t yelling at them though. I was just performing theatrics in the privacy of my own garage. How dare they listen in on me!

I had this plan to mount a big speaker at the peak of the roof inside the garage and run a wire for it underground so that I could annoy them even when it wasn’t possible to go outside and bother them in person. I was dedicated! I even went as far as running the wire along the fence and hiding it with leaves, but I think I ran short of wire or something because I never completely.

Something I did often in the 80’s was hang out on our patio’s swing. You know, a bench hanging from chains? And from this swing I had a perfect view of Darin’s front porch on the next block over, which him and his friends seemed to sit around on a lot. So when we got our first cordless phone I discovered the hilarity of outdoor prank calling by calling his phone number whenever they were outside, just to see them get up and go inside to answer it. I’d hang up before they got in the door, they’d come back out, sit down, then it repeats. At the time it seemed so innovative, having a remote means of dialing the phone from outdoors. Cordless phones were amazing!

Eventually they must have noticed me on the swing talking on the cordless phone in completely unrelated phone calls. And also noticed that I was always there when their phone was mysteriously ringing, because they started yelling at me (from a block away) whenever I called them. I forget exactly what they were yelling.

This tormenting of Darin continued until at least when I was 16 or 17 years old, because I remember using the phone line in my room (which I had installed when I was 16, after I had a job to pay for things like that) to call the Alton Telegraph and set up a fake newspaper ad, listing Darin’s home for rent. This is back in the day when newspapers would set up an ad before getting paid for it. I gave them my own telephone number so that people could call me about the house, I think with the intentions of recording the phone calls and saying funny things to the callers. But then I started telling people to come and look at the house and if we weren’t home to just walk around the house looking in the windows to see what it looks like inside. I made it a really awesome renting deal so there were lots of calls.

I guess when I left home and went to Texas I completely forgot about him. Weird that I dialed his number like that, after all these years. And even after I was so weird at his mom the other day, she still kept talking to me so I asked if Darin was around. I expected her to say, “Oh no, he hasn’t lived here for 15 years!” but instead she told me he was out for the day and then she gave me his cell phone number. I called it for another test of my system, but only got his voicemail. I babbled to his voicemail for awhile and played Roses in its entirety, then talked a little while longer, mostly about issues I was having with software. His voicemail seems to have unlimited recording capacity. I should give him a call later and apologize to him! I bet he’d love that.

Kristine sent me an awesome wooden Mark Twain to keep my existing Mark Twain company. As you can see, it was just in the nick of time since he was getting pretty lonely and hitting the scotch. (Yeah, I know, I’m hilarious!) Thanks, Kristine!!

This weekend the kids and I saw Witch Mountain. It was dumb.

Last week I was using streetview to cruise through Galveston, admiring all the weird houses that I’ve always loved about that place. And I decided to travel the entire length of Avenue M to find some old house that I really wanted to move into back when I first moved there. At the time I was living on the couch of some Mexican guy named Edwin, who spoke no English at all, that I’d met through my job as a painter. It wasn’t a bad place, but I really needed my own room so he’d stop waking me up each morning, singing along with Mexican MTV.

By this time I’ve met a few people who agree to be roommates with me, so I’m spending a lot of time looking at places to live since I seem to have the most free time. I find this one place on Avenue M which is 4 or 5 bedrooms for just $600/month. I go to the office that own it and they give me a key to it and tell me to go look at it by myself. How trusting! The first thing I noticed about it is that the window on the door is broken and the door is already unlocked. It’s an awesome place, though. Huge rooms, really old decor, the floors are all going up/downhill and creek a lot, some of the rooms have these giant wooden doors that slide into the walls instead of opening, there’s a balcony, lots of character and you get the feeling that a few people have been murdered there before. Later I take Tammy to see it and she agrees that it’s awful, but awesome. I take pictures and show the other guy who’d be living with us and his flamboyant response is, “You want to live on Avenue M? M stands for murder!”

For some reason, I decide that I really want to go see that house again in the middle of the night. The front door is broken so I know I can get in. And even though I own a flash light, I decide that the best way to explore this house once more is by candlelight. What better way to explore a creepy old house in the middle of the night, right? I park a few blocks away and walk up to the house, reach in the broken window and turn the doorknob. Once inside, I light my candle and start leisurely wandering around, exploring each room on the first floor and discovering a new door in the kitchen that leads to a cellar. I wasn’t brave enough to go down there. I eventually begin walking up the open staircase, long candlestick in hand, and as I get to the top steps I see some kind of movement down the hall.

I stop, trying to see what it is. I move my hand that’s cupped around the flame to the other side, trying to shine light in that direction and I see a face peering from the bedroom door at the end of the hall. Holy crap! Neither of us say a word to each other and I slowly back down the stairs and then quickly leave the house. I bet this squatter was a lot more freaked out than I was, hearing someone creaking around downstairs and then coming up the stairs with a candle. Who uses candles???

Here’s my old picture of the house and then the Streetview of it:

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I don’t know why, but I was using black and white film during my first few months living in Galveston. It was a brown and yellow house, but appears to be much more colorful today. We didn’t end up getting that house because we found a tiny one on Avenue K instead, for just $300 per month. Finding that house on Streetview made me think it might be fun to find all the other places I’ve lived on Streetview. So I did. Well, most of them. I dumped out my box of old letters, postcards, Christmas cards, etc and noted the addresses that people wrote me at.

I found most of my old addresses this way. I have no idea what our address was on Avenue K, since I never got mail there. I also don’t know Edwin’s address or the addresses to the other houses in Galveston that I lived at. There was 3428 Cove View Blvd in Galveston, though.

Brad Thompson lived there and I stayed with him for a night or two and he got me the painting job. I didn’t get any letters there, but I found a pawn slip from 8/3/92 and a seat belt warning from 4/12/92 with that address on it. I ended up using his address to get my Texas drivers license when I moved there, so that address ended up being on a lot of paperwork over the next year.

Another address I found on an old ticket from the cops (10-10-91) was 1108 Ave O, Galveston, TX. Streetview says that doesn’t exist, though, so I guess I lied to the officer. I couldn’t make out what the ticket was for, but I guess that would have been shortly after I’d just moved to Galveston. I mostly got all my mail at PO Box 821, which was the big post office in Galveston on 25th Street. (Gina wrote me a letter at that address.)

My next move was to Myrtle Beach, SC, but “Myrtle Beach” didn’t sound awesome enough for my new P.O. Box, so I got a box 10 miles away from where I lived and worked, which was PO Box 15993, Surfside Beach, SC 29587. Myrtle Beach is another place where I have no idea what my address was. It was a few blocks from the beach and I shared it with a varying number of other guys for the summer.

A library card from 1992 says I lived at 513 Van Buren in Normal, IL, but I guess that address isn’t exactly right since Streetview can’t find it. It was on the ISU campus in the Van Buren building, room #513 where me and Sylvia lived with Chris Tomkinson for a month or two. Soon after that, Sylvia and I moved to Los Angeles where we lived with Kristine on Romaine and Vine in Hollywood for awhile. I searched Romaine and couldn’t recognize our old place, but here’s a Streetview of the street.

We were in there someplace. We also lived on Jumilla Ave in Canoga Park, CA, but that’s another one where I don’t have the exact address and I don’t remember what the house looked like. It’s only a block long, though.

A letter from Shonna shows that we lived at 1021 Broadway #4 in Highland, IL, but Highland hasn’t gotten a visit from the Streetview gods yet so there’s only an aerial view.

Next was Indianapolis, living alone in various places. A lot of the time I was homeless on the IUPUI campus, but there was a really cool giant house I lived in for awhile, though I have no idea what its address was. I lived on the 3rd floor with the mice and the roaches. I also spent a lot of time living at the Skyline Motel at 6617 E Washington Street:

My permanent address here was PO Box 441403, Indianapolis, IN 46244, which I found on a letter to me from Kristine. The letter was addressed to Alex Carbon, the name I was living and working under during my entire time in Indianapolis. (On the lam from Madison County authorities.)

Ohio was next. I lived near Saint Bernard in Cincinnati, but I can’t remember exactly where. Sucks, since that entire city is Streetviewized. Unlike Celina, Ohio, where I lived at 129 1/2 W Fayette where I received a letter from Martini.

I spent some time living with Colleen on 161st and SE Stark in Portland:

I also lived at the Jack London Hotel which some website claims is at 415 SW Alder St in downtown Portland. Doesn’t look familiar to me, though. Probably cause they appear to have cleaned that area up.

I lived in that house, which was at 5225 NE Wyngat in Portland, shown by a letter addressed to my new name Alex Kelley. It was a really nice house where I had 3 roommates. The lady who owned the place stupidly left all of her stuff there and the 19-year-old girl who rented one of the rooms stole a ton of it while she lived there. Her and her friends went through the garage and all the closets, taking everything that they wanted. Luckily she stayed out of my room when I was gone since there was no lock on my door.

I had post office boxes all over Portland too, for mine and Colleen’s various mail order scams and credit card fraud. There was the PO box at 950 Lloyd Center #62, but the one we used the most was 2000 N East 42nd, Suite 128, which was in the Hollywood area of Portland.

I had at least 4 different post office boxes while in Portland for all our crazy scams. I had an apartment with a girl named Lisa too, but then she bailed out on it after we’d already paid the first month’s rent because she couldn’t handle a few roaches living with us.

I used the address 213 Congress #314 in Austin, TX 78701 with mail being addressed to me in the names Chris Tomkinson and Alex Kelly. I lived in a very strange place in Austin which was underneath a skating rink, but don’t remember the address or the area it was in.

Next is 810 Morgan #4 in Corpus Christi, Texas:

This place featured the live entertainment of the guy next door screaming at and beating his wife often!

A letter from Kristine shows me next living at 825 Ermine Avenue SE in Albany, Oregon. I love how she always went with the flow of writing to whatever name I happened to be using at the time. It was Alex Carter at this address.

Colleen and I next lived at 1013 Kingswood Court in Celina, Ohio, but there is no Streetview there.

1.5 years later we moved to Illinois, where we immediately set up P.O. Box 483 in East Alton, IL before moving to 3504 Meridocia Street in Alton, IL for the next 7 or 8 years. (Not much Streetview in Alton yet.)

Below is 805 Elm Street SW in Albany, Oregon:

I recently spent a full 2 years living there, but moved just last year. It was cool having my front door open onto a city sidewalk, but not so cool having people walk by as they talked loudly at all hours of the night.

Only the back side of my newest domicile is on Streetview, but it’s probably best not to post it so all you weirdos don’t start sending me pizzas and taxis.