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Amusing Sights Around Alton

Proof Reading Jed Clampett Opens Up Proof Reading Business

EAST ALTON - Yeah, what can I really say about this one... I'm not sure I'd take my proof reading needs to a place where it looks like a 3rd grader is in charge of their advertising campaign.

click for larger image Wood River Needs to Crack Down on Hookers

Apparently the problem with prostitution in Wood River is getting worse, as this candid picture undoubtedly proves. Here you see a young woman prancing up and down St. Louis Avenue, advertising her "hot and ready" services for the low price of $5.00. You can find various hookers, both male and female, working the streets in that area just about any evening these days. The people of Wood River need to ban together to help stomp out this filth!

click for larger image Alton School Bus Driver Threatens To Kill Children

Okay, obviously this really isn't meant as a threat. But when I saw it on the front page of the Telegraph I just had to scan it in because it sure reads like a threat. I can just picture the bus driver screaming, "Okay you kids, I tried to warn you but you didn't listen!" as she swerves the bus into oncoming traffic. To read the full article, click here.

click for larger image Allen Pruitt Running For "Foruth" Ward Alderman

Ah, another addition for the "You know you live in Alton section" - You know you live in Alton when the election signs in peoples' yards are those aluminum stick-on letters attached to a piece wood and they can't even spell the simplest words right. We've actually spotted several of these signs around Alton, all of them are the same. I wonder if this guy even spelled his own name right. (Click on the picture for a different view of the sign or click here for yet another view.)

click for larger image Telegraph "shoulder surfing" For Credit Card Numbers

Be careful while whipping out your credit card at the Phillips 66 station on Washington & College. Rhonda Willard wasn't so lucky, when she was filling up her tank a telegraph photographer snapped a picture of her with her credit card in plain view and it was published in Friday's Alton Telegraph. By scanning the image in the paper and enlarging it on a computer, it was easy to make out all 16 digits on the face of the credit card. You can click on the small image to view the whole thing. Don't bother trying to enlarge it though, we shrunk the picture and smudged the numbers so nobody could get them from our site.

click for larger image Cintas driver thinks his truck can float

During an extremely heavy rain this summer, a Cintas truck driver decided to ignore the big pool of water in front of Union Planters Bank in East Alton to save a little time. He ended up spending several hours in the water, chatting with police and waiting for the tow truck to pull him out. Click on the picture for a larger view of the truck or click here for another view.)

click for larger image Alto Sewvac

After 10 years in Los Angeles, CA I returned to my hometown of Alton, IL...That was 1995. On the corner of Washington & College there is a store that sells vacuum cleaners. On the sign outside above the door it reads "Alto Sewvac". Somehow I always get a chuckle thinking of the that little old Slavic guy that repairs vacuums slaving away somewhere in the back room. I know it sounds stupid but you might think that as the giants of the pharmacuetical world battle for prime real estate across the street that this marketing genius could fix the fuckin sign. Probably been up there for 10 years. Let watch and see.

from Paul, January 11th, 2001

click for larger image Lowe Performance

Dear Notla,

I just discovered this site and think it is wonderful! I was wondering if you noticed a business on Milton Rd. called Lowe Performance? I just thought is was kinda funny!


Aerial Photos of Alton

Alton Square, 2001 - I labeled the stores in case there's any confusion to which side is which. Click on the picture to see the full image. Clark Bridge, 2001 - Click on the bridge for a full-sized image. This is the lot where the new police station is being built. This was taken shortly after they cleared the lot but before any construction actually started.