Category: Fitness

FAIL!

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A couple months ago I was looking at gloves in Albertson’s and I found these:

All of the gloves on the rack were labeled for Boys, no matter the style. Today I sent the image in to The Fail Blog so maybe it’ll end up on their site one of these days. (That’s why it has the FAIL writing on it.)

I can’t tell you how much I want to take my TV-B-GONE to the gym and turn off all the cable boxes and TVs with one press of the button. It’d be complete pandemonium, with 20 people looking around, confused and wondering what they’ll do now that the TVs are off. Even better would be to bring my old remote control watch in and switch all the channels up a few times.

The Dark Knight was stupid

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Last week, I decided to finally watch The Dark Knight. I saw Batman Begins in the theater a few years ago and thought it was okay. And all I’ve heard this year is how The Dark Knight is a masterpiece and Heath is brilliant as the Joker and blah blah blah. I actually left my laptop upstairs so I’d have no distractions while watching this amazing film. And it sucked. It was two hours of complete boredom. I kept wanting to turn it off. I can’t believe people went so nuts about that movie. What a piece of garbage. I’m so glad I didn’t waste my money to see it in the theater.

I ran 3 miles straight again tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to do that daily now.

The whole Richard Cardo/Jonbenet Ramsey murder thing got incredibly hilarious again today. I decided to write to Patty, some girl who Richard decided lured Jonbenet out of her room as I cowered under Jonbenet’s bed before going downstairs to write the ransom note. We wrote at least a dozen emails to each other, both finding the whole thing equally hilarious and bizarre. We swapped a lot of good info with each other and it turns out we know several of the same people since we’ve run in similar social circles in the past.

Richard finished his video investigation on the Jonbenet Ramsey murder a day or two ago. It’s taken him years to complete (at least 4 years of his life that I know of) and he’s really poured a lot of time and energy into the project to bring The Truth to the masses. And then today, YouTube yanks down about 10 of his videos because Patty complained about them. And then YouTube yanks down 1 more because I made a copyright claim about the photographs of me that he was using. He has to be so pissed now! All those years of work and we get a giant chunk of it taken off the internet. And there’s still more to go – he’s still using plenty of my material in his videos that I can make legitimate complaints against. And it’s not that I even care that the videos exist, because I know that no sane person will ever believe them. Just the idea of upsetting Richard Cardo makes me giggle.

Also, I made a parody video of Richard Cardo last week, using video of him but dubbing over his voice to make him confess to the murder and say a bunch of other nonsense. He saw this and got really upset and wrote me a giant angry email about it. Then he submitted a copyright claim against the video for using his video without his permission and YouTube took my video down. I figured that would happen. So today I wrote him an email on YouTube and said something like, “How’s it feel to have YOUR videos removed from YouTube? Haha, I bet you’re really mad, aren’t you?” It’s fun having someone so deserving to be messed with.

Snip

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I’m watching The Manhattan Project, which I haven’t seen since the 80’s. It’s a fun movie. I remember reading the book in Jr. High. It’s free to watch on hulu.com here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/50942/the-manhattan-project

I ran 6 MPH for 30 minutes straight today. That’s my longest time at that pace. Usually I take a break at 20 minutes.

Payton was doing some report on beavers for school and I found out that they’re not allowed to call beaver dams dams. They call it a lodge instead. Because “dam” is a curse word. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard? It’s like we’re moving backwards.

The Mysterious Stranger transcripts is awesome. Three separate versions of the same story, which happens to be my favorite book. And the first version, which is the one they used in the book, is an extra 50 pages. It’s like seeing the deleted scenes on a DVD.

Jog/Weezer/Nerf

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Just got back from a SIX mile jog. Ouch. When I say 6 miles, it’s more like 3, because I usually jog for one song, walk for the next, etc. Still, more that I’m used to doing. This one took about an hour and 20 minutes. And wow, the new Weezer album is great! It’s comparable to their Blue album. Really good stuff. Anyone who hasn’t seen it needs to go watch their new video.

Speaking of new albums, Nerf Herder finally put a new one out. It’s not amazing, but it’s got a couple of really good tracks on it. I actually purchased it. With money! Was my first experience with Amazon’s mp3 download service.

Superbowl Sunday is tomorrow!!@##@$#$@

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Just kidding, I don’t give a shit about the Superbowl. In my 35 years, I’ve never watched it. Last year I was at the gym on Superbowl Sunday. I was in the room by myself and a lady came in, looked at me, and asked me if I wanted her to switch the T.V. to the Superbowl. I had to turn off my Ipod and ask her to repeat herself.

“No, I don’t watch that shit,” I said. Yeah, I cursed. I could tell that she wouldn’t be used to hearing the Superbowl referred to as “shit.”

“What?? Why not??” She asks me, not believing what she’s hearing. She was in shock. We exchanged a few more words. I think I told her I wasn’t very good at being a man, or something like that. She finally went away and I went back to listening to my podcasts. I bet she told all her friends and family about the guy she met who didn’t want to watch the Superbowl.

This week I got a dresser on Craigslist to put in my closet. I’ve been needing one for a long time now and I’m glad to finally have one. $25, 5 drawers, and all my clothes fit into it. Also a week or two ago I found a dining room table at Salvation Army. A really nice one too. I’ve officially got all the furniture I could possibly need now.

Payton rules. He’s been reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for months now and he finally finished it this week. 652 pages. I wasn’t reading books at all when I was in 3rd grade. I discovered reading in 4th grade and stuck to tiny Judy Blume-like books until Jr. High when I switched to Stephen King. He’s been reading Judy Blume this year too (all the Fudge books), but I never thought he would actually finish a Harry Potter book when he brought it home. I’m surprised and proud. He said he would read the 7th Harry Potter book if I bought it, so I found a used copy of it on Amazon and it should be here next week. It’s 784 pages. That just seems like a lot for an 8-year-old.

A couple days before he finished it, I told him I would take him out to eat at a place of his choice once he finished the book, to celebrate his first large book. He picked Pizza King, so we went there this evening. Between food and games, that place is crazy expensive. We had fun though. I blew tons of money on the crane machine and won a couple things.

I finally finished reading every single entry on Violent Acres. Her latest entry is #328 and they’re usually pretty long entries. For me to read all 328 of her posts, you know it’s gotta be great stuff. So everyone should go take a look at her site. Wow, 328 entries. Probably 2 or 3 pages per entry. I bet her collection of stories is about the same size as Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

Gym

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Despite having no money, I plunked down $99 to join the gym yesterday. On Sunday I used my free pass and spent 90 minutes there, on the treadmill. I left 500 calories behind. Yesterday evening it was 400 calories. Today I went during the day for an hour. 300 calories in an hour. When I was just going on walks around town, I was luck to 200 calories. My goal is going to be to burn 400 calories a day, 6 or 7 days a week there. Just walking, that takes 1 hour and 20 minutes. But throwing some occasional running in there helps it go quicker. Podcasts sure make the time go by quickly. This whole thing is perfect for me. I get to catch up on my podcasts, I get out of the house and away from the computer screen, and I lose weight.

My ultimate goal is 40 – 50 pounds. Fitday.com says I need to lose 2 lbs a week to have that done by July. I’m still doing pretty good with eating. I think I’m completely done with soda. I had a little on the plane last month, but none at all during my stay in Illinois and none since I’ve been back. Oh wait, I had some at the movie in Illinois. Anyway, I’m not drinking a bottle a day of it like I’ve been doing the past 20 years. No more than 1 per month on average.