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I hate Rick Astley. Back in 1988, this horrible song called Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley came out which I immediately disliked. But, being a fan of Top 40 music, I couldn’t escape it. It was on the radio and MTV all the time. This was the decade where MTV played lots of music videos and I watched it a lot. Which meant I watched Rick Astley a lot for a few months. I never even liked the song a little. Like some bad songs, this one didn’t grow on me. Not even after several years. Sometimes you’ll hear an old song that you used to hate and nostalgia alone makes you suddenly think that it’s not so bad. Not this one. As far as I’m concerned, it will suck forever. I’ll never understand how that song made it to #1 on the Billboard charts. I had to listen to it on the radio for about a year. And after that song’s momentum died down, he came out with another single called Together Forever which was even worse than Never Gonna Give You Up. (Click here to watch the video for that one.) I don’t remember if that one made it to #1 or not, I just know they played it nonstop on the radio and MTV too, making me endure even more endless months of Rick Astley. So I go about 15 years without thinking of Rick Astley or his horrible music. And then some jerk creates Rickrolling. Sure, I thought it was amusing at first and I remembered that painfully awful song. But geez, people have been Rickrolling for a year now. That’s about how long I had to endure Rick Astley the first time around. When’s it going to stop? I’ve heard that song so many times over the past year. Not as bad as when it was on the radio, but still a lot. The reason I’m going on about this is because I kept hearing that song in my dreams last night. Yes, my dreams are being Rickrolled now. You know what’s going to suck? Now that Rick Astley’s song is sort of popular again, somebody is going to remake it. And it’s going to end up being played on the radio all the time again. I’m surprised it’s taken this long for that to happen.
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(I didn’t write any of these. But I found them on the imdb message board and just had to steal the good ones. You’ll either understand them or you won’t.) 1: Chunk stole his uncles toupee 3: Mikey is “a good ki…er..person” 6: Chunk’s top score on Pole Position is 1632. 7: It’s “booby traps”, not “booty traps”. 8: Stay to the right! 10: It takes 376 lawn mowing jobs to earn enough cash for a new bike. 11: Always separate the drugs! 12: Astoria’s water system supplies enough pressure to launch people 8 feet into the air off of toilets! 13: God puts large rocks in place for a reason, and we shouldn’t move them. 17. If God meant to put it that way we’d all be pissing in our faces! 21. You can tell where Mikey’s been by looking at pipes. 26. Michael Jackson never used the bathroom at Chunk’s house but his sister did. 31. Brand’s bike is his most flattest thing in the world. 33. The only thing that is served at the Lighthouse Lounge is tongue. 34. Ma Fratelli always sides with Francis. 38. The only thing that is in Chunk’s attic is Hanukkah decorations. 42. Those aren’t candles. 44. HEY YOU GUYEEES. 45. Mouth really believed that a quarter would grant his wish, and turned to petty theivery when said quarter failed to do his bidding. 46. Kissing Andy heals respiratory problems. 49) Troy’s such a cheap guy. 51.) There will be no signing today..or any other day. 53.) Abnormally strong adults born with birth defects can become great by the power of The Baby Ruth. 54.) When all else fails, treat it like a MAD Magazine. It might work. 55.) If it doesn’t work we’ll all “B-flat”. 56.) Dancing octopi, although enigmatic, are cut for a reason. 57.) When tracking kids, look for size 5 footprints and smell for bubblegum. 58.) Pack extra batteries. Because they don’t last so long. 59.) Drug dealers wouldn’t be caught dead wearing polyester wags. 65) puree is the perfect setting on a blender to grind up a kids hand 71) Stef’s looks aren’t so bad, when her face isn’t screwing them up. 73) Pirates liked waterslides. 74) Andi is not Liberace ya know. 75) Goonies never say die. 76) It’s there time up there and it is our time down here. 77) Wearing red undies when sitting down to use the bathroom is possible. 79) A dead body in a garbage bag is probably just restaurant trash. 80) The zoo will sell chains to wanted fugitives. 84) There’s 50 more houses to tear down after the Walsh’s. 85) Precious cut gemstones are more important than marbles. 87) If Mr. Walsh gets his next 400 paychecks in 24 hours he can fix the housing situation for everyone. 88) If you push your sister down the stairs, blame it on the dog. 89) Saying you don’t wear a hair piece doesn’t make it true. 90) If you pig out at fat camp, you will get kicked out. 91) Water is wet ain’t it, so drink it. 92) It’s all over the second we ride up Troy’s bucket. 93) Detroit is the birthplace of Motown and has the highest murder rate in the US. 94) There are pictures available of Chunk’s mom naked taking a bath and they are real cheap. 95) Brand does not wear braces. 97) Mrs. Walsh is going to commit Harri Krishna! 98) Mississippi Mud and Chocolate Eruption are ice cream flavors. 99) Fifty Iranian terrorists took over all the Sizzler steakhouses in the city. 108. The longer prisoners bark, the colder their lunches get. 109. Rosalita is in a crazy house. 114. Brand’s going to hit Mikey so hard, his clothes are going to be out of style. 128. Our parents are off buying Pampers for us kids. 130. The water is not going down yet. 134. If Brand hadn’t failed his driver’s test, they all would be goin’ out in style, cruisin’ the coast, sniffin’ some lace, downin’ some brews. 138. When translating Spanish, it is necessary to speak with an Old English accent. 140. Sixty and another forty is an even one hundred. 144. Chunks got it, he’s got it…he don’t got it… 145. It could have been a tremor. 146. Matzo Balls are comparable in size to bullet holes. 147. When watching a car chase, don’t press your Strawberry shake to a window. 152. When confronted with a murderous kidnapper, recite the Torah. 155. Frozen pizza is worth shooting someone over. 156. Brand hopes his house is turned into a sand trap. 159. No pen, No sign!! 163 - Chunk can smell ice cream 167. If all else fails…slick shoes! 170. Take any treasure you like but always leave Willy his share. 178. Bats carry rabies. 180. Trust in your old mother, boys! 199. If you do a bad job, you’ll be locked in the attic with the cockroaches for two weeks without food and water 213. The cops don’t care if you dump 3 or 4 gallons of gas outside the police station. 216. Mouse-trap is not only a kick-ass game, but a great way to open the gate. 217. You wanna scare the crap out of a girl? Stick a fish-head on a rake! 224. When depressed, often the best remedy is Ready-Whip straight out of the can. 226. When writing a pirate message in Spanish, always make sure it rhymes in English 245. If you bang on water pipes, water fountains can be lethal. 246. Police are afraid to jump over 3 foot flames. 251. There are no other houses to buy in Astoria if yours is foreclosed upon in order to build a golf course. 252. The price of fixing Sloth’s teeth is the same as a toupee. 253. Rosalita tends to search through the pockets of other people’s jackets. 257. Oregon contains a complex array of subterranean mazes that have went undiscovered for hundreds of years until a group of 12 year olds just happen to stumble upon them. 260. Booby traps hundreds of years old always work as intended. 261. If this is triple stones, then THIS must be copper bones. 272. It’s OK to borrow a small Asian Girl’s bike as long as you say, “I owe you one.” 273. Chickens lay eggs at the moment they are startled by popping balloons. 274. Air displaced by bats flying has the power to blow fireplace grates aloft. 292. You should always have an in depth conversation with a Pirates skeleton before taking his long lost booty. 321. The Hardy Boys put treasure in one tunnel and hid in another. Obviously I skipped the boring ones. But if you want to read them all, they’re here:
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Today, as I was walking into the post office, there was an old man on the sidewalk with a clipboard, I assume to sway peoples’ political beliefs. There’s always one there this time of year. As I opened the door, he asked me if I was a Linn County resident. Without looking at him I said “Nah” and continued inside. But before the door shut, I heard him say, “Oh, you’re fibbing!” So I walked back out the door, knocked the clipboard out of his hand and screamed, “FUCK YOU!” in his face. Wait no, that last part is a lie. Actually, I continued inside to pick up my mail. I probably wouldn’t have said anything to him, but a lady who works in the post office (one of the higher ups, who gets called to the counter when a customer demands to talk to a supervisor) was at the door and telling him not to do something. She was saying something like he needs to approach people on the way out instead of the way in. So I stopped and said, “You know, I wasn’t lying to you. I really don’t live in Linn County.” He says nothing. So I continue, “So you don’t need to call me a liar.” “Huh?” he replies. “You said I was fibbing when I told you I don’t live in Linn County and I don’t appreciate it. I shouldn’t have to be called a liar whenever I come to pick up my mail.” “Oh. Well I was just kidding, buddy!” By the time he says this I’m getting into my car and the post office lady is giving him an evil look. As I pull away she’s talking to him again. I don’t know how much authority she has over those people who stand out there, but it would be great if she made him leave. I hate having to dodge them every single day. Oh, and I really am a Linn County resident. Tee hee! I love being a jerk. EDIT: Just to prove that I’m not a complete jerk all the time, I should point out that in December I give those Salvation Army bell ringers at the post office money almost every single day.
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The New York Sun reports that the price of gasoline in the US will soon be in line with what Europeans pay. Translating this price into dollars and cents at the gas pump, one of our forecasters, the chairman of Houston-based Dune Energy, Alan Gaines, sees gas rising to $7-$8 a gallon. The other, a commodities tracker at Weiss Research in Jupiter, Fla., Sean Brodrick, projects a range of $8 to $10 a gallon. -from here While it sucks that gas costs so much and this is seriously screwing up my recreational travel, I think this is exciting news. Insane gas prices like that sure would give the U.S. a much-needed shakeup. We’ll finally be forced to find alternatives to everything. As much as I love owning a car, I would love to have an excuse to get rid of it. Maybe some of the awesome stuff that I always read on ecogeek.org will actually start happening. Maybe middle class people will have to start riding the bus. It’ll be anarchy! The prices are going to suck but I’m positive that good things are going to come out of it. In more important news…
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In my quest to rid myself of tangible items, I’ve come across a small problem. I want to be able to easily browse my digital collections. It’d be nice to be able to see the cover art of my movies. Especially when perusing movies from the couch, which is hard to do anyway since everything is in tiny text. I’ve done a little searching on the subject, but I can’t seem to find any software that will let you add cover art pictures and easy browsing to your collection of digital movies. I know Windows Media Player sort of does it, but most of my movies are in mp4 format, which can’t be played on WMP. Any suggestions? Also, I’ve tried pretty hard to not collect tons of books since I moved here. I think I currently own less than 20 books, since I usually sell them back after I’ve read them. But I’d like to have some kind of catalog of books that I’ve enjoyed, so I don’t forget about the book. You know, if you have a giant book collection, sometimes you’ll come across an old book that you haven’t read in years and you’ll decide to read it again. I need a way to create lists of books, preferably with cover art, that I can browse. Amazon has wish lists, but I don’t want people buying me books on a wish list. They don’t have just a regular list of stuff you like. I’m thinking I’ll just set up an Amazon Store of my media, even though I’m not too crazy with the way they lay everything out. I already have a store for phonelosers.org. I guess it would be cool to have the added bonus of receiving a commission if anyone decides to buy anything in my personal store. About the movies, I’m sure Netflix will come out with a way to make lists of favorites eventually. They already have Top 10 lists that users can make and share. I don’t think it goes much further than that, though. But if anyone has any other suggestions for doing what I think I want to do, other than making an Amazon Store, I’m open to them. EDIT: I just set up a quick list on Amazon. Click here to see my Amazon store. Right after I made that, though, I discovered that Amazon actually does have a thing called Your Media Library which might do everything I was looking for. I’ve only spent a minute or two looking at it now, and I’m not sure if I like it. I’m going to look it over now, though. I’m still open to any alternative suggestions. ANOTHER EDIT: I just remembered that after RijilV moved out of my spare apartment in Illinois, I had this insane idea of converting his old apartment into a library. As if I didn’t have enough useless space in my house as it was, I thought that turning every wall of his old living area into a bookshelf was an awesome idea. I came really close to actually beginning this project too, but luckily someone I knew needed a place to live so I rented it out again. I didn’t even own enough books at the time to fill more than 1/4th of one of the smaller walls. So besides the lost rental income, I would have spent all this money on wood for bookshelves, lowered the value of the house, and then probably spent thousands of dollars after that just buying books to fill up the shelves so it would look cooler. Sure, it would have been a fun project, but I’m so glad I got sidetracked on that idea.
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 I bought some fabric today and made a green screen. Payton and I did a test video and it worked really well, even without any lighting. The kids have been making nonstop videos the past week. Mostly puppets and stuff. But we got on the subject of green screens and I told them how easy it is to do, one thing leads to another, and I’m buying fabric. It’s a lot cooler than the green screen out of posterboard that Herman and I made a few years ago. Who knows what we’ll do with this though. Here’s our test video with the green screen. It’s very spotty since the lighting in the garage is dim: And here’s my favorite video of theirs so far (not green screened):
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In either first or second grade, I met the guy that would be my best friend for the next 6 or 7 years. His name was John and he lived on the same block as me, just at the opposite side. I don’t remember exactly how we met, but I think I kept seeing him on my way to and from the corner store (right next to his house) that my parents used to send me to for groceries all the time. I’m pretty sure we declared ourselves enemies at first, but upgraded to friends soon after that. Details are sketchy. Eventually I began spending a huge part of my free time at John’s house. I guess I wouldn’t say that we got into a lot of trouble together, but we sure caused a lot of trouble. John is mentioned several times on my pranks page for things like tying strings across the road (or sometimes just pretending to) to annoy drivers and causing merchandise in the grocery store to talk to customers via walkie talkies. Not since John have I ever had a friend where it seemed like every single day for us was just another insane mission to accomplish. We didn’t just “hang out” when we were together. We plotted and schemed and accomplished things. He had the kind of parents that were more likely to encourage our craziness, than to punish us for it. Whereas my dad might whip me with a belt and ground me for a week for tying strings across the road, John’s dad would suggest hanging newspapers along the length of the string to create a giant wall for cars to crash into. (He actually did suggest this to us, though I doubt he was entirely serious about it.) This is the main reason 99% of our time was spent on John’s side of the block and not mine. I only remember John being at my house once, and it ended with my dad yelling at me for whatever we were doing and sending John home. I lost touch with John after 8th grade, when their family moved into a different school district. I did visit his new house once or twice, after he moved but once I was 16 or so, I completely lost contact with him. In the late 90’s, maybe a year or two after moving back to Illinois, I sent his parents a Christmas card and we ended up visiting a few more times, but I guess life kept us both too busy hang out much more than that. But just a few days ago, John tracked me down! I was surprised to find that he has a blog and that I was even mentioned in it once or twice. Since he’s contacted me, we’ve been catching up via this post and email which has been a lot of fun. So in honor of John’s sudden return, I’m going to list a few of the things we used to do to keep ourselves busy in the 80’s.
At this point I’m tired of writing so I’m going to stop. But it’s great that John has gotten back in touch. I count him as a major influence in my life, and he made my grade school years approximately a billion times more interesting than they would have been without him.
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I just now finished the last episode of season 3 of Weeds. A few days ago I was browsing around Netflix and clicked on it, remembering seeing previews about it on Showtime back when I was watching Dead Like Me. I was immediately hooked on Weeds and have watched them nonstop for the past 4 days. There hasn’t been a show that’s made me LOL this much in a long time. I loved every episode. What a great show. It’s almost enough to make me want to sign up for cable this fall so I can catch the new episodes as they air. Almost, but not quite. Also, Netflix’s Instant Play is awesome. This is my first time using it. The picture quality is a lot better than the movies I rip myself. Once they build their catalog up, there will be no reason for me to own movies and TV shows anymore. They didn’t have Season 3, so I had to spend a day downloading those from bittorrent. I was downloading them one at a time so I could watch them as they came in. But Netflix is great and I hope they work on making a lot more available soon.
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Last night I had a dream that I was working on the PHP code on phonelosers.org to fix the problem with the “Comments” text being in Times New Roman font instead of Arial font. A couple weeks ago I had a dream that I went to a bar with some lady who was a lesbian, she sat down and I went to the counter to get drinks. The bartender ignored me forever, and most of the dream was spent being pissed about the horrible service I was getting. I woke up before I got served. You know you’re boring when your dreams suck this bad. This week has been fun. The Spessas were here all week and just left yesterday. I drove with them to Portland to hang out for awhile before they continued back home. Today I’ve got nothing to do, which means I’ll probably be on the internet all day. So far this is what I’ve done today.
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