Altercation of the Day

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I went to pick up my son from school today, and parked on my usual side street. As I’m leaving my car and walking towards the school, some guy trimming his hedges says to me, “Hey could you not park there in front of my mailbox? The mailman doesn’t like when you park there.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry about that, I won’t do it again.”

“Could you go ahead and move it back a few feet?”

I looked and I wasn’t even in front of his mailbox. It was about a foot in front of my car. “It doesn’t look like I’m in front of it anyway.”

“Just back up a few feet for me!”

“Not now. I won’t park there again though, I promise.” And I keep walking towards the school.

“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!” he yells.

This makes me smile. I pause for a minute and then go back to where he can hear me.

“Hey, I’ll probably park there tomorrow too. And every day from now on.”

“Go ahead! I’ll call the police! You’re an asshole!”

“Bye now!”

And I continued walking to pick up my son. I told him about it so that if the guy started yelling things at us again, he would be prepared. I was kind of hoping for more, but he wasn’t outside. He was probably on the phone with 911, frantically telling them all about me.

I usually can’t even park in that spot because some other mom is already there. And is it even illegal to park a foot away from a mailbox? I know it’d make it difficult for the mailman in his truck, but that can’t be illegal. Or maybe it is, who knows. In my 3 years here, I’ve never seen that guy in his yard but I can’t wait to give him a friendly hello every time I see him from now on.

The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle

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The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle trailer

I really want to see this movie. It looks so beautifully weird and interesting. I remember that head janitor guy from Rat Race. I’ve watched the trailer 3 times now. I can’t wait to see this one. It’s in my Netflix queue.

Speaking of movies, we saw Mall Cop this weekend. Despite a lot of very obvious plot holes that even my kids were spotting, it was a fun movie and we really enjoyed it. I was surprised at what a clean movie it was. I expected the usual dose of bad language, fart jokes and general raunchiness for this type of movie, but there was none of that. It was unexpected. My mouth is still in pain from the crazy amount of butter salt we put on the popcorn. (We always bring our own.)

I discovered a new comic today that I really like. It’s called Being Five and it kind of reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes. Both me and Payton read every single one of them from the blog today. Here’s a sample:

FAIL!

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A couple months ago I was looking at gloves in Albertson’s and I found these:

All of the gloves on the rack were labeled for Boys, no matter the style. Today I sent the image in to The Fail Blog so maybe it’ll end up on their site one of these days. (That’s why it has the FAIL writing on it.)

I can’t tell you how much I want to take my TV-B-GONE to the gym and turn off all the cable boxes and TVs with one press of the button. It’d be complete pandemonium, with 20 people looking around, confused and wondering what they’ll do now that the TVs are off. Even better would be to bring my old remote control watch in and switch all the channels up a few times.

The Daily Flip Show

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Today I got featured on The Daily Flip Show for returning my Flip video camera to Target. I’m a fan of their show on YouTube. Check it out at thedailyflipshow.com or at www.youtube.com/TheDailyFlipShow.

In other YouTube news, every single one of Richard Cardo’s investigative videos have disappeared. Either they all got taken down due to complaints or he hid them from the public to make them stop getting taken down. Also, I think I got Richard grounded from playing investigator today when I called his wife and yelled at her over this whole thing.

And in even more YouTube news, Shay Carl is awesome and so is his Shaytards channel. Watch his Turkey Bowling in Wal-Mart video first. Him and his wife are hilarious.

The Dark Knight was stupid

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Last week, I decided to finally watch The Dark Knight. I saw Batman Begins in the theater a few years ago and thought it was okay. And all I’ve heard this year is how The Dark Knight is a masterpiece and Heath is brilliant as the Joker and blah blah blah. I actually left my laptop upstairs so I’d have no distractions while watching this amazing film. And it sucked. It was two hours of complete boredom. I kept wanting to turn it off. I can’t believe people went so nuts about that movie. What a piece of garbage. I’m so glad I didn’t waste my money to see it in the theater.

I ran 3 miles straight again tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to do that daily now.

The whole Richard Cardo/Jonbenet Ramsey murder thing got incredibly hilarious again today. I decided to write to Patty, some girl who Richard decided lured Jonbenet out of her room as I cowered under Jonbenet’s bed before going downstairs to write the ransom note. We wrote at least a dozen emails to each other, both finding the whole thing equally hilarious and bizarre. We swapped a lot of good info with each other and it turns out we know several of the same people since we’ve run in similar social circles in the past.

Richard finished his video investigation on the Jonbenet Ramsey murder a day or two ago. It’s taken him years to complete (at least 4 years of his life that I know of) and he’s really poured a lot of time and energy into the project to bring The Truth to the masses. And then today, YouTube yanks down about 10 of his videos because Patty complained about them. And then YouTube yanks down 1 more because I made a copyright claim about the photographs of me that he was using. He has to be so pissed now! All those years of work and we get a giant chunk of it taken off the internet. And there’s still more to go – he’s still using plenty of my material in his videos that I can make legitimate complaints against. And it’s not that I even care that the videos exist, because I know that no sane person will ever believe them. Just the idea of upsetting Richard Cardo makes me giggle.

Also, I made a parody video of Richard Cardo last week, using video of him but dubbing over his voice to make him confess to the murder and say a bunch of other nonsense. He saw this and got really upset and wrote me a giant angry email about it. Then he submitted a copyright claim against the video for using his video without his permission and YouTube took my video down. I figured that would happen. So today I wrote him an email on YouTube and said something like, “How’s it feel to have YOUR videos removed from YouTube? Haha, I bet you’re really mad, aren’t you?” It’s fun having someone so deserving to be messed with.

Snip

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I’m watching The Manhattan Project, which I haven’t seen since the 80’s. It’s a fun movie. I remember reading the book in Jr. High. It’s free to watch on hulu.com here: http://www.hulu.com/watch/50942/the-manhattan-project

I ran 6 MPH for 30 minutes straight today. That’s my longest time at that pace. Usually I take a break at 20 minutes.

Payton was doing some report on beavers for school and I found out that they’re not allowed to call beaver dams dams. They call it a lodge instead. Because “dam” is a curse word. Isn’t that the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard? It’s like we’re moving backwards.

The Mysterious Stranger transcripts is awesome. Three separate versions of the same story, which happens to be my favorite book. And the first version, which is the one they used in the book, is an extra 50 pages. It’s like seeing the deleted scenes on a DVD.

Buried and Sealed Forever

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After reading the announcement on about a dozen blogs today that Google’s Picasa photo sharing thing released a Mac version today, I finally ended up watching a video of the things it could do and I was impressed enough with it to download the PC version to give it a try. I’ve been a Flickr user for the past couple of years, but this looks nice. Even if I don’t use Picasa’s online service, this is a nice way of organizing photos and videos.

While scrolling through old pictures, I found this one from 2004:

buried and sealed forever

I’d forgotten about all the weird messages I left behind walls and under floors during all my renovating at the old house. I wonder if anyone will ever uncover this one. I remember another one that I did (but I couldn’t find the picture of) where I wrote on the subfloor something like, “Underneath you’ll find the 3rd $5,000 stash. Only 3 more clues until you find the $500,000 prize. Here is your next clue.” and then I wrote a bunch of gibberish underneath it. I know it’s unlikely that anyone will ever fall for it, but there’s always a chance that 20 years from now someone will find that and begin tearing up the house, looking for hidden treasure.

RIP, Tom

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I just got an email from Callie, telling me that my ex-neighbor Tom from Illinois died on Christmas day. What a shock. He was only 43. He was a great person and probably my favorite neighbor ever. We had a lot of fun together, back when I lived there. Me and Tom spent about a year using NetBus to hack into people’s home computers and do hilarious things. We shared our scans with each other and traded IP addresses that had really good things on them. He was also with me when we made the Taco Bell takeover video.

We did normal things to, though, like helping each other out with computer problems and helping each other with home improvement issues. We traded computer components all the time. We built walls in his basement together and he trusted me to completely rewire his basement and put porch lights on the front of his house and in his shed. He let me borrow his truck anytime I needed to go to Lowes and buy drywall or other big things. He was a great person and I’ve kind of missed him since I left Illinois.

I can only imagine how hard this must be on his son, who is about 12-years-old. His other son is 3. His older son and Emily were really good friends for the first 8 or so years of their lives and spent a ton of time together. Payton knew him for his first 5 years too, until we moved. Just, wow. Rest in peace, Tom.

Tom Mowing the Street

Avatars

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Today I was playing around with the themes and settings on notla.com and I noticed that I could insert code to give everyone an avatar next to their comment. To personalize your avatar, all you have to do is create an account on Gravatar.com or wordpress.com and then use that same email address when you post comments on my posts. This also works on any other blog that uses WordPress, which is most of them. I set it up so that anyone without a Gravatar or WordPress account automatically gets an avatar of a random cartoon monster. Pretty neat. I’m going to set this up on phonelosers.org and signhacker.com too.

2008 Twitter Posts

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For some reason, this past April, I decided to sign up for a Twitter account. Probably because I’m addicted to social networking sites since I spend more time on the internet than I do in real life. The idea of micro-blogging seems lame to me, but I still do it anyway. Enough to have made 91 Tweets in 2008.

I like following other people on Twitter too, even though I prefer actual blogging more. I’m currently following 35 people and I have 68 people following me. I tried getting my updates via cell phone, but that just annoyed me nonstop all day. So now I use a plugin for Outlook called OutTwit, which delivers all my Twitter messages to a folder in Outlook. I use Outlook all day, so it’s really convenient for me.

Also, Twitter was really cool for Defcon. During that weekend I had tweets delivered to my cell phone and it made keeping up with everyone else at the convention really easy. I’ll probably use it the same way during Shmoocon next month. Anyway, the point of all this is so I can post all my Twitter messages from 2008. Here they all are:

@Barely Do you really think people will still be dumb enough to own Zunes in 2012? about 1 hour ago from OutTwit in reply to Barely
@thelinear i’m too lazy to log in/out of twitter accounts about 17 hours ago from OutTwit in reply to thelinear
Some wireless phone guy wants to pay me to take down an old article I have about him on my website. How tempting 11:06 PM Dec 29th, 2008 from web
Cannot stop watching 9/11 footage on YouTube 10:35 AM Dec 29th, 2008 from OutTwit
@deltapark I lost over 100lbs while I was in prison, running from the other prisoners. You should definitely talk about that. 3:31 PM Dec 28th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to deltapark
@playingleader people say that to me ALL THE TIME! What does it mean?? 5:59 PM Dec 26th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to playingleader
@“>matthewnet N 44° 38.502 W 123° 05.338 8:59 PM Dec 20th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to matthewnet
@stromcarlson They call them “sandwich artists” at Subway, don’t they? 7:58 PM Dec 20th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to stromcarlson
Stupid gym was closed “due to weather.” It’s not even below freezing tonight and there is NO snow or ice on the roads. 8:57 PM Dec 19th, 2008 from web
@thelinear everything works perfectly for me, retard 6:02 PM Dec 19th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to thelinear
I hate admitting that I’m excited for a TV show, but OMG JUST 10 MINUTES TIL SARAH CONNOR! 7:49 PM Dec 15th, 2008 from OutTwit
My server has survived an ebaumsworld.com linking for the past week. The busiest day was 45,000 hits. No crashes. My new server rules. 2:36 PM Dec 11th, 2008 from web
A girl gave Payton her online ID today – etched into an orange peel with a fork. Which he kept in his pocket. 3:42 PM Dec 9th, 2008 from web
@matthewnet boxes. They have a small trailer attached to their bike. 6:56 PM Dec 8th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to matthewnet
I keep seeing UPS drivers ON BIKES delivering things on my street. Weird, but cool. 6:35 PM Dec 8th, 2008 from OutTwit
@thelinear you’ll be hearing from my attorney again, linear! 9:29 PM Dec 4th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to thelinear
Taking a break from making PLA Radio 21 to go eat and get a damn haircut. 3:53 PM Nov 30th, 2008 from web
I saw John Mark Karr at the mall today. He’s a janitor there. I should get a picture so you’ll all believe me. 8:33 PM Nov 29th, 2008 from web
“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.” -Oscar Wilde… 8:51 AM Nov 28th, 2008 from web
Just finished up some more bike geocaching. Found 4 out of 4. 3:26 PM Nov 27th, 2008 from web
@matthewnet Nah, haven’t started yet. Will in a few hours probably. 12:42 PM Nov 27th, 2008 from web in reply to matthewnet
Just finished Geocache biking all over town. Did 8 total – found 4 and failed at 4. I think this was my first time Geocaching alone. 5:51 PM Nov 26th, 2008 from web
@matthewnet Am I in any way responsible for that? 1:49 PM Nov 26th, 2008 from web in reply to matthewnet
@deltapark Always happy to help and/or frighten! 11:33 AM Nov 26th, 2008 from web in reply to deltapark
Why do podcasters think that doing shows in noisy restaurants is an awesome idea? There’s way too much of this lately. 11:57 AM Nov 24th, 2008 from web
What good is multitouch REALLY? Moving pictures around on a screen? BFD. 9:20 PM Nov 18th, 2008 from web
Bad timing belt in my car AND I locked my keys in the car. I win the prize! Total value: $ 382! 3:07 PM Nov 17th, 2008 from txt
On the train. Girl in front of me’s purfume is KILLING ME. 2:04 PM Nov 16th, 2008 from txt
@thelinear Remeber, you sound 20 lbs heavier on the radio! 3:32 PM Nov 10th, 2008 from OutTwit in reply to thelinear
I give a different name every day at the deli. Today the girl guessed my name (Mark) and was surprised when I told her she was right. 2:05 PM Oct 20th, 2008 from txt
Homeless guy: Hey bud, what are you doing? Me: Avoiding eye contact with YOU! 7:34 PM Oct 18th, 2008 from digsby
Homeless guy: Hey bud, what are you doing? 7:33 PM Oct 18th, 2008 from digsby
@joethepeacock sorry to hear about your truck, Joe. That’s gotta suck. 12:44 PM Oct 14th, 2008 from web in reply to joethepeacock
@matthewnet definitely get a remote control keychain from www.tvbgone.com 9:59 AM Oct 14th, 2008 from digsby in reply to matthewnet
@playingleader You got a crackberry now? Welcome to the club! I’ll teach you the secret handshake soon. 9:03 PM Oct 13th, 2008 from digsby in reply to playingleader
“What’s your favorite color?” “Blue.” “Okay, good, I’m not in another dimension.” My kids have weird conversations. 9:16 PM Oct 12th, 2008 from digsby
@hevnsnt Weird, I just listened to that episode of Security Justice about an hour ago. DC is awesome. 4:16 PM Oct 10th, 2008 from digsby in reply to hevnsnt
Can’t. Stop. Eating. Pez. Damn Halloween for making them so available. 5:24 PM Oct 7th, 2008 from digsby
@Barely I just use my Dremel to file mine down occasionally. Saves money. 12:37 PM Oct 7th, 2008 from digsby in reply to Barely
@hevnsnt That’s the best place to get them, SO much cheaper there! 11:34 AM Oct 6th, 2008 from digsby in reply to hevnsnt
@playingleader Nah, please don’t get that idea. It was only shots. 12:23 PM Oct 5th, 2008 from web in reply to playingleader
@playingleader One that I’m afraid I can’t share. :) 9:30 AM Oct 5th, 2008 from web in reply to playingleader
Apparently I did shots with a 14yearold girl tonight 11:11 PM Oct 4th, 2008 from txt
We’ve had 25 percent of the menu at the bar so far. 9:41 PM Oct 4th, 2008 from txt
@playingleader I gave you a new PLA Radio this week. What else do you want?? 10:32 AM Oct 3rd, 2008 from digsby in reply to playingleader
I ate 18 packs of Pez. I love Pez. Except for raspberry. But I still eat them anyway, because they’re PEZ. http://www.signhacker.com 8:33 PM Sep 25th, 2008 from web
My penis is so long that if you layed it out on the keyboard it would go from A to Z! 10:28 AM Sep 22nd, 2008 from web
I’ve been sitting on the couch for 14 hours now. I rock! 9:42 PM Sep 21st, 2008 from digsby
I was having an insult battle with my son and he retorted “Well, you’re a corporate terrorist!” TV is such a bad influence. 10:58 AM Sep 20th, 2008 from digsby
I hate when my mouth is so numb from drinking a 44oz Slurpee that it makes me sound retarded on the phone. 12:26 PM Sep 17th, 2008 from digsby
Important Tip: Even though Waynes World was hilarious in 1992, it’s incredibly lame by today’s standards. 10:01 AM Sep 17th, 2008 from digsby
I finally beat “The 100” on Desktop Tower Defense. Life is complete. Productivity is imminent. 11:39 AM Sep 14th, 2008 from web
Nobody told me there was a cover charge to 2600 tonight. I 0wned tr0n tonight. Had pizza and beer. On a train back now. 8:41 PM Sep 5th, 2008 from txt
About to throw 50 superballs off the 4th story balcony 3:38 PM Aug 31st, 2008 from txt
Just got my picture taken with mc frontalot. 2:39 PM Aug 30th, 2008 from txt
@notmurd0c I’m calling the movie theater to have you paged. 10:53 AM Aug 30th, 2008 from txt
At the penny arcade expo, waiting in line forever for a slice of pizza. 5:16 PM Aug 29th, 2008 from txt
@matthewnet Moths + Movie Theater = ?? I should have the answer by this evening. 10:00 AM Aug 25th, 2008 from web in reply to matthewnet
I’m in Idaho. I rode lots of roller coasters yesterday. Today, mischief. 9:30 AM Aug 24th, 2008 from web
@matthewnet Too late, I’m gone from there. I’ll bring it next time. 12:57 PM Aug 20th, 2008 from digsby in reply to matthewnet
I’ve been sitting in an automotive shop for an hour now, listening to Christian rock. HE REIGNS! HE REIGNS! Make it stop. 8:59 AM Aug 20th, 2008 from txt
Thunder and lightning tonight. This is rare here. I like it. 10:45 PM Aug 17th, 2008 from digsby
@matthewnet I JUST received all my twitter replies from Defcon. I had it set wrong. JUst wanted to let you know I wasn’t ignoring you. 5:49 PM Aug 16th, 2008 from web in reply to matthewnet
http://tinyurl.com/5nfujq I think I need to work on my sales pitch 11:19 AM Aug 15th, 2008 from web
@playingleader I’d like to bid $5 for your job 10:42 AM Aug 15th, 2008 from web in reply to playingleader
Waiting for jason scott’s talk to start. I’m doubting I can sit through 2 hours of it. 2:55 PM Aug 10th, 2008 from txt
Having quite possibly the best breakfast ever at dennys. 10:08 AM Aug 10th, 2008 from txt
So messed up 1:46 AM Aug 10th, 2008 from txt
Drifting between the 303 party and the i-hacked party. Holy shit, I met Grey Frequency. 10:52 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from txt
Watching a live podcast in skybox 208. 8:59 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from txt
At the star trek experience, experiencing the thrill of waiting in line for a really long time. 5:13 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from txt
Watching the urban exploration talk. Probably gonna do the star trek ride around 4 or 5. 3:05 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from txt
I’ve met two people now who like PLA but refuse to tell me who they are. I think they’re ashamed 12:37 PM Aug 9th, 2008 from txt
At peppermill with rijilv and co, waiting for food 8:16 PM Aug 8th, 2008 from txt
Only took me 5 minutes of defcon to bump into eljefe 5:47 PM Aug 8th, 2008 from txt
I got to vegas just in time for a traffic jam. 4:34 PM Aug 8th, 2008 from txt
On a shuttle, headed to the airport. Should be at defcon around 4pm if all goes well 10:33 AM Aug 8th, 2008 from txt
Slurpee. Cakewalk. That’s my evening. 5:24 PM Jul 31st, 2008 from web
It’s pretty bad when I exclaim “Holy crap, gas is cheap!” when I see it’s $3.99/gallon. 9:55 AM Jul 30th, 2008 from web
I just released a new PLA Radio and I can’t find my login to update the PLA/UPL twitter. Dammit. 9:41 AM Jul 24th, 2008 from web
Good morning, starshine! The Earth says hello! 8:37 PM Jun 15th, 2008 from web
OMG, I LOVE THESE NEW RED AND YELLOW SHOES THAT I BOUGHT ON SALE AT MACYS!!! 1:37 PM Jun 7th, 2008 from web
Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? Cactus? PLA Radio. 4:55 PM May 28th, 2008 from web
Setting up a new server for all my sites. Soon everything will be slightly faster 8:03 AM Apr 22nd, 2008 from web
I’m having a hard time understanding the appeal behind this Twitter thing 7:05 AM Apr 17th, 2008 from web
I’m twittering. That sounds gay, but I’m doing it anyway. 1:15 PM Apr 4th, 2008 from web
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